VENDREDI & MARS 2008 coin du rire A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs 10 and that Continues for a year. Then, suddenly, the daily donation changes to Rs 7.50
"Well", the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing. "
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs 5.
"What's going on now ? " the beggar asks his donor. "First you give me Rs 10 every day, then Rs 7.50 and now only Rs 5. What's the problem ? "
"Well", the man says, "last year, my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year, my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further. "
"And how many children do you have ? " the beggar asks.
"Four, " the man replies.
"Well", says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense. "
Un homme rencontre dans la rue un de ses amis qui a la main couverte d'un épais bandage. Il lui demande ce qui lui est arrivé :
- C'est un chien qui m'a mordu hier.
- Tu l'as désinfectée ?
- Je n'ai pas pu. Il est parti en courant…A customer called the Canon help desk for a problem with his printer.
Tech support : Are you running it under Windows ?
Customer : No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.
Tech support : Okay bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter "p" to bring up the program manager.
Customer : i don't have a p.
Tech support : On your keyboard, Bob !
Customer : What do you mean ?
Tech support : "p"… on your keyboard, Bob !
Customer : I'm not going to do that !In class
Teacher : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor ?
John : You told me to do it without using tables !Teacher : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie : Me !Teacher : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I. "
Millie : I is…
Teacher : No, Millie…. Always say "I am. "
Millie : All right… "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. "Teacher : Can anybody give an example of coincidence ?
Tino : Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day, same time. "Teacher : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating ?
Simon : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.Teacher : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
Clyde : No, teacher, it's the same dog !Teacher : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested ?
Harold : A teacher.Condition
C'est l'histoire de deux gars vraiment affreux, sales, bêtes et méchants. De vrais pestes qui ne pensent qu'à faire des ennuis aux autres habitants du village ! Par contre, ils vont à la messe tous les dimanches et ne sont pas radins quand vient l'heure de la quête car ils espèrent ainsi se racheter de tous leurs péchés contre leurs concitoyens. Un beau jour, un des deux frères vient à mourir. La veille des funérailles, le frère resté vivant vient voir le curé et lui dit :
- Je vais vous faire un chèque d'un beau montant qui vous permettra de finir la réfection du clocher. Mais, il y a une condition : pendant l'office, il vous faudra dire explicitement que mon frère "était un saint". Si vous êtes d'accord, signez en bas de ce contrat et vous aurez le chèque.
Le curé lui dit : C'est d'accord.
Il signe le contrat et part encaisser le chèque le jour-même. Le lendemain, au cours de la cérémonie, le curé fait l'éloge funèbre et commence par ces mots :
- Cet homme était habité par le diable. Il trompait sa femme, on l'a soupçonné d'avoir allumé plusieurs incendies dans le village, il était violent.
Et le laïus continue quelques minutes jusqu'à ce que le curé conclut :
-…Mais, comparé à son frère, cet homme était un saint.